Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a fundamental issue of the Christian faith and probably the most important thing that every human being needs in life – both to be forgiven and also to forgive others. It can however be very hard for us to do this. How many of us bear grudges, knowingly or unknowingly? Do we ever avoid people because they have hurt us, so that we cannot bear to either meet them or be with them?
How many of us still want to get even with people that we know? We want to be proved right. Have you ever rehearsed conversations to have with people after an incident and you just wish you’d said this or that?
One of the greatest truths of the Christian message is that Jesus died on the cross for us as individuals so that we might be forgiven for our sins.
Romans 5:8 ‘But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.’
That’s wonderful news, but perhaps we are not quite as keen to hear that as a result of Christ’s forgiveness of us, we must in turn forgive our brothers and sisters, friends and colleagues, teachers and leaders, governments and nations, those we love and those we don’t! If we do not forgive others then we ourselves will not be forgiven.
Matthew 6:14-15 says “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Forgiveness is a command, not an option.
Also, if we do not forgive we sit as judge over people, but we have no right to judge, for that is Christ’s role. It says in Deuteronomy 32:35 “It is mine to avenge; I will repay”. Forgiveness means surrendering to Jesus our right to judge someone and trusting God to be the judge.
Forgiveness, however, does not in any way justify the sin or remove accountability from those who have hurt us. It also does not mean that we should act as if nothing has happened to us. For someone who has been raped, for example, forgiving the rapist does not mean that he did not do it, that the pain is not there, or that it is OK for him to do it again, but it does mean forgiving the person and allowing the Lord to be the judge. The pain is still there but before it will go we have to forgive. In Rwanda there are many stories of the most terrible acts of violence - women who had to watch their husbands and children being killed in the most atrocious ways - people being thrown into latrines of sewage and stoned while their family listen to them screaming until they are dead. I understand that forgiveness is not easy. But the Lord is the only fair judge and when we do not forgive, we actually hold ourselves in bondage and give Satan access into our lives.
Forgiveness may be a process. It may take days, weeks or months and in some cases years to truly forgive, but as we undertake to forgive, the Lord will enable us and bless us. Sometimes a situation is so terrible that we have to choose to forgive as an act of our will, and only later will the emotions come into line with the will decision that we have made – so that we can actually feel like forgiving. It may be necessary to initially pray “Lord, make me willing to be willing to forgive”, and if we genuinely pray this, the Lord will answer that prayer. One test of whether we have truly forgiven is to ask ourselves whether we could pray a blessing upon an individual rather than rehearsing speeches to offend them!
Sometimes we can blame the Lord for something that has happened which has caused us pain. Of course, it was not God’s fault for He cannot sin, but we may still have blamed Him for it – if that is the case, we need to ensure that we ‘forgive God’ and release him from our judgement.
Many of us struggle to forgive ourselves for things that we have done – but it is absolutely essential to release ourselves into the freedom of our own forgiveness.
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”.
If Christ has forgiven us, what right do we have to continue to punish ourselves? It is denying the freedom that He has won for us.
We must obey the Lord and forgive those who trespass against us.
Matthew 18:21 “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
This verse highlights that however many times we have been offended or hurt we must forgive continuously, for an infinite number of times. Unless we do so we can carry anger and bitterness and this can badly affect us as individuals. For those of us who live with others, we may need to forgive them several times a day – for it is so often those closest to us that hurt us the most. It is hard if you live or work with someone who treats you badly, who ignores you or abuses you, but nevertheless the command of Jesus is to forgive. In the parable of the unmerciful servant (Matthew 18:21-35) we are told that the servant who owed the king ten thousand talents was unable to pay back his debts and similarly we as individuals can never repay the debt of our sin. As the parable illustrates in verse 34 “in anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed” then Jesus explains, ”This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart”.
Forgiveness is a heart attitude; it can start as a will decision, but must transfer into our hearts at some stage. When we have truly forgiven someone we are no longer controlled by them and we are free! True forgiveness brings healing into our lives. It is the key to unlocking the prison of bitterness and anger that imprisons us. It is the hope for my nation – and yours.